Reminisce
I slowly walk on the sidewalk
And begin to count my every step
2,3,4 as I look up
And start scanning the sky in depth
It’s exceptionally painted blue
Without a single glimpse of a cloud in sight
And as I start to feel each fierce sunray hit my skin
I can’t help but forget the agony and consider how this just feels so right
But my awaited delight is interrupted by a strange rumble
Unfamiliar and unknown, I look around to search
Just to find nothing as the sound of the roaring grumble
Grows, grows, and grows.
And just like that, I start to reminisce.
Remember that one test you took?
All of the studying you did just to get a C+
But as resentful as you were, you were too scared to make a fuss
So you just sat there, soaking in all of your disappointment
Like an overfilled sponge on the verge of exploding.
What about every time you’ve tried to fit in?
You downgraded yourself just for all the others
But deep inside your heart you know it's wrong
and that's something you’re still struggling to discover.
And the things you wish you never said?
The mistakes, the times you thought you sounded weird, or the rude remarks
That you wish you could take back, so you try to leave them locked up in the dark
But no matter how hard you try, you can’t let them go.
You’re now standing there, frozen
While each dreary, downhearted cloud appears
Quicker than you’ve ever imagined
So you run, going at a speed faster than any marathon winner could ever aspire to.
But those thoughts are still glued to your mind
No room for air nor any place that feels less than confined
So you have no other option but to carry on.
Each thing that you wish you could change
Each demoting moment that makes your heart plummet
Each thing recirculates your mind nonstop.
What about your family?
You miss them terribly but these days, we’ve all been busy
Busy with work, busy with our own lives
And you just miss the times when you would have conversations you thought would never end.
What about the people who have to go through hardship every single day?
“Be grateful,” we should say because
people are being killed just for the color of their skin
What about the people who would give their whole life for a spoonfull of food?
We struggle to fast
But no food for weeks is what they’re used to
This is the world we live in
This is the world that orbits through my head with no end
The clouds are absorbing all of the color from the sky
And now, I can no longer depend on racing them with all of my strength.
I just can’t understand
What is going on with us?
What is going on with me?
Why is this happening to us?
Why is this happening to me?
What is wrong with us?
What is wrong with me?
I finally decide to stop.
Just for a moment of ease
But before I get to feel anything at all, I feel a drop on my forehead
Along with a rustling breeze.
A drop turns to two,
And three turns to four.
And before I know it,
Rain starts to heavily pour.
I slowly walk on the sidewalk
And begin to count my every step
2,3,4 except this time
Instead of looking up, I decided to just accept.
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