Individuals are shaped by defining moments and recollections of different experiences throughout their journeys through life; their minds are programmed to set long-term goals they dream of achieving.

But what happens when the end is near? When the battle is almost won and their dream is about to become a reality, what thoughts run through their minds? What do they desire next?

From a very young age, I have seen the seniors graduate from my prestigious institute. The first graduation parade I remember is from kindergarten. With streamers in her hands, Little Mahnoor watched the unfamiliar faces in white run through the gates, grinning, singing, and dancing, stepping foot into their school for the last time as students. Although I didn’t have an idea of what was happening then, apart from having heard the word graduation, it became my dream to one day be one of those young ladies, embarking on the next voyage of life, a pearl leaving its shell to enter a whole new world.

Years have passed since. More graduations followed. Soon, unfamiliar faces turned into familiar ones: people I had heard of, those I had worked with, acquaintances and friends. However, my dream of graduating stayed steadfast in its place as one of my deepest desires. With the passage of time, I failed to realize that I was slowly becoming one of the older girls.

Now, I am just one academic year away from my own graduation, and some of my closest friends graduate in a few months. I no longer have to wear a uniform to school or be there for the whole day. I find myself at a crossroads. I attach new meanings to the songs played at the graduation parade, I listen more closely to their words.

“Leave me to my destiny, I have waited patiently,” sang Right Said Fred. This lyric stands out because it not only brings feelings of nostalgia but also emphasizes the work it took for me to get to where I am now. My peers and I studied, passed tests, participated in competitions, and worked together, as we grew, to get to where we are today.We worked to one day achieve the desire birthed in our hearts since we saw our first graduation parade, to fulfill our dream. Our goals in life motivate us to work towards a better destiny, to achieve what we want; this motivation comes from our deeper desire to meet the bar set by the adults in our lives. This song brings me joy, not only because I associate it with so many memories over the past 16 years of my life but also because I associate it with the hope of one day reaching a place in my journey that I have dreamed of for years.

When I was younger, I used to wonder what happened at the graduation dinner after the parade; my thoughts would run wild, coming up with the most elaborate ideas, but now I know what happens. At first every hurdle that I would have to face seemed so complex, so overwhelming; now that I have overcome so many of them, the ones that once seemed impossible to achieve seem so straightforward in comparison to the rest of my life. The dream was always to graduate, but now that it’s not so far away, I have mixed emotions — the joy and excitement are there, but they are overpowered by fear of the unknown. The dream itself is a final goodbye to being a child, marking the end of the first part of my learning journey.

Up until now, everything in life has been planned for me, even my dreams shaped by my education. My deepest desire — something that has been a huge part of my life since I gained consciousness — is now arriving.​

Now I realize there is life beyond graduation, a life I haven’t thought about, one that isn’t planned for me by adults looking out for me; a life in which I will be the captain of my own ship. I will have to make my own decisions, set my own desires, and work to achieve my dreams and goals myself. The thought of having control is so much more exhilarating when you don’t know what it fully entails. My dreams and desires have now morphed, from wanting to graduate to wanting school to last a little bit longer, to get into a college, get a job — the list is endless. My deepest desire has gone from wanting to be one of the older girls, to wanting to be one of the younger ones, a perfectly full circle but, alas, that is not how life works.

I only have one more year of school left, and there is nothing I can do about it. Time does not stop; I will never be able to go back to being that little five year old girl, with the world in the palm of her hands. I will never be able to relive the moment I saw those girls run through the gates, when my eyes began to twinkle and I formed a memory that drove me for so many years and will drive me for one more. However, I can do something better. In May 2024, I can sing the lyrics, “Tonight, we are young, so let’s set the world on fire” with pride, knowing that I lived out little Mahnoor’s dream and I have so much more to look forward to.